"Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know" by Malcolm Gladwell

Talking to Strangers:

What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know

by Malcolm Gladwell

A review

After reading several fiction books in the past weeks, I was itching to read some non-fiction.  The opportunity to get my fix came in the shape of Malcolm Gladwell’s most recent book: Talking to Strangers – What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know.

I have read and enjoyed other works by Gladwell and his latest offering follows what has now become a familiar structure in his books.  In the opening chapter, he starts with a case study which introduces the issue which will be addressed in the book.  He then proceeds to divide it into smaller components, illustrating each of them with anecdotes or reference to experiments by social scientists.  At the end of the book, Gladwell revisits the introductory case study, applying the insights obtained during the course of the previous chapters.

In Talking to Strangers the key case study is the notorious stand-off between African-American civilian Sandra Bland and police officer Brian Encina. On the pretext of a traffic violation, Bland was pulled over by Encina. What started as a fairly normal random check led to the arrest of an innocent woman and her subsequent suicide in a jail cell.  Gladwell interprets this as an example of a gross misunderstanding, a failure on the part of Encina to correctly digest verbal and non-verbal communication. And, whilst not exonerating Encina, he considers this as a wider failure on the part of society to equip us with the necessary tools to understand “strangers”.  Gladwell then gives other examples – such as Neville Chamberlain’s belief (shared by seasoned diplomats in his retinue) that Hitler would honour an agreement not to go to war, or the CIA’s failure to identify key double-agents in their midst.    What is it, therefore that makes us prone to being fooled by strangers?

To answer this question, Gladwell relies heavily on the theories of psychologist Tim Levine.  He argues that the first problem we face is what he calls “default to truth”. In other words, we are “wired” to accept the truth of what others are telling us, unless there are so many indications to the contrary that we cannot easily “explain them away”.  This obviously puts us at a greater risk of being fooled now and then.  However, the alternative to this approach would be to become paranoid, suspecting everything and everybody. 

The second problem is related to “transparency”.  We tend to rely on “visual” communication as much as on “non-visual” communication. Facial expressions, in particular, are often considered a fool proof method of understanding what others are really feeling. It turns out however that with certain people this just doesn’t work, and their facial expressions do not necessarily reflect their real thoughts. In particular, culture affects visual cues, compounding the transparency problem.  Intrinsically tied to this is the “mismatch” issue.  Basically, this means that whilst even reading the expressions of “transparent” people can be challenging at times, our performance is abysmal when expressions and thoughts are mismatched.

The final challenge in “talking to strangers” relates to the “coupling” phenomenon.  Gladwell observes that we tend to underestimate the effects of “context” (geographical or circumstantial) on individuals, which leads us to wrongly predict how an individual would react or behave in specific circumstances.

Gladwell’s solution to these problems is, to my mind, quite generic.  He emphasizes that we need to be aware of the tendency to “default to truth” and not penalize each other for it. He also advocates for greater humility and respect in our dealings with strangers, giving ourselves the time to understand not just the individual facing us, but also the “context”.

There’s no denying Gladwell’s readability – I gobbled up this book in two longish sittings over a weekend.  His arguments move forward with a clear logic and are illustrated by compelling examples.  He provides many startling insights and at his best, can effectively change one’s perceptions and prejudices.   Yet, at the end, just as with other books of his, I felt rather like the audience at a magician’s show, convinced that there must be a “trick” somewhere. His conclusions are certainly persuasive – but can we be sure that he has not been selective in the anecdotes he shares with us? Can the social experiments he refers to be relied upon? 

The dangers of relying blindly on the examples Gladwell mentions are illustrated, ironically, by the author himself. The interpretation of facial expressions was a key point in an earlier book of his – Blink – some of whose material overlaps with this.  In Blink, following the findings of Paul Ekman, Gladwell advocated for a “universalist” interpretation of facial expressions.  In Talking to Strangers he admits to changing his views on Ekman, in the light of more recent studies.  There is, of course, nothing wrong with changing or developing one’s opinion – on the contrary, Gladwell should be commended for his intellectual honesty in making this clear. However, it also serves as a salutary lesson in not taking all Gladwell’s arguments as self-evident.

This “margin of error” (for want of a better term) is particularly delicate in the present book, since the examples Gladwell refers to are, to say the least, controversial. He contends, for instance, that in the Jerry Sandusky and Larry Nassar abuse scandals, the failure of authorities to take prompt action was not necessarily fuelled by some nefarious cover-up attempt, but might have been the result of a natural “default to truth”. Similarly, in discussing the Brock Turner rape case, whilst, on the one hand, condemning the perpetrator, he mentions the alcohol factor as an element which complicated the correct understanding of “consent” – effectively portraying the incident is a particularly grievous and damaging ‘misunderstanding’.  Gladwell retains a respectful and balanced voice, but this is incendiary stuff.  I’m quite sure that victims of abuse will not be easily convinced by these “default to truth” arguments, however compellingly put.   

Whether one agrees or not with his overarching theories or their particular components, however, Gladwell comes across as an intelligent interlocutor whose observations are thought-provoking and valuable.

Kindle Edition, 379 pages

Published September 10th 2019 by Penguin